12 Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Consider Moving to Ohio
Hey there, future mover! Before you pack your bags for Ohio, let me save you the trouble. Here are 12 perfectly valid (and not at all exaggerated) reasons why you should think twice about making the Buckeye State your new home.
Boring Landscapes
If you crave dramatic landscapes, Ohio’s blend of rolling hills, flat farmland, and the occasional river might leave you unimpressed. The subtle beauty of the state isn’t for everyone.
Unpredictable Weather
For those who prefer stable and predictable weather, Ohio’s erratic shifts between hot summers and cold, snowy winters will keep you constantly guessing. It’s a weather roller coaster you might not enjoy.
Football Obsession
Ohio lives and breathes football, from high school games to the Ohio State Buckeyes and the Cleveland Browns. If you’re not a football fan, you might feel like an outsider in a state where football is practically a religion.
Endless Festivals
With events like the Ohio State Fair and Oktoberfest Zinzinnati happening throughout the year, there’s always something going on. Keeping up with all the festivals can be exhausting if you prefer a more laid-back lifestyle.
Annoyingly Friendly People
Ohioans are known for their Midwestern friendliness. If you prefer to keep to yourself, the constant neighborly interactions might feel overwhelming and intrusive.
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
While the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland is a major attraction, if you’re not a music enthusiast, it might seem overrated. Celebrating rock history might not be your idea of a good time.
Too Much History
Ohio is packed with historical significance, from the Wright Brothers to the Underground Railroad. If you’re not a history buff, the constant historical references might be overwhelming.
Flat Farmland
If you crave mountainous terrain, Ohio’s extensive farmland and flat landscapes might disappoint. It’s mostly cornfields as far as the eye can see.
Cultural Richness
With a thriving arts scene, numerous theaters, and museums, Ohio’s cultural offerings might be too stimulating for those who prefer a quieter, simpler lifestyle.
Proximity to Great Lakes
Living near Lake Erie offers a wealth of recreational activities, but if you’re not a fan of water, the proximity to the Great Lakes might seem like a drag.
Big City Amenities
Cities like Columbus, Cleveland, and Cincinnati boast top-notch restaurants and vibrant nightlife. If you prefer small-town simplicity, the bustling city amenities might overwhelm you.
Buckeye Candies
Chocolate and peanut butter Buckeye candies are ubiquitous in Ohio. If you’re trying to avoid sweets, these tempting treats will test your willpower at every turn.
So, there you have it—twelve ironclad reasons to keep Ohio off your relocation list. Sure, it might sound like a friendly, vibrant, and culturally rich place to live, but don’t be fooled by the allure. Stick to your familiar, uninspiring environments, and leave Ohio to those who don’t mind a little charm, unpredictability, and football mania.
